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As mysterious as a fog machine and about as helpful as a man dressed in leather who occasionally steals your siblings.

What the Goblin Sommelier suggests you would be wise not to argue with.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Labyrinth - the Nice Guy Goblin Version

"You have thirteen hours in which to walk the gentle well-paved 3 mile path full of helpful signs, before your baby brother becomes one of us... forever."


"You have thirteen hours in which you must binge watch Netflix before your baby brother becomes one of us... forever."


"You have thirteen hours in which to get a decent night's sleep, eat breakfast, and then meet me at the 7-11 on the corner before your baby brother becomes one of us... forever." 


"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your fully consensual slave, every other Thursday, unless you need to reschedule, because I respect your boundaries.  Oh also, in this version of the film, you're over 18, because those power dynamics are for adults only." (holds out glass orb hopefully)

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