As classy as glitter on styrofoam, as mysterious as a fog machine, and as helpful as a man dressed in leather who occasionally steals your siblings.

What the Goblin Sommelier suggests you would be wise not to argue with.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Product Review - Dior Incognito Polish


Last Sunday I went out to Sephora on a quest - I was going to find the elusive perfect nude/pink polish for my short little nails.  Imagine the scene - Sephora before Christmas.  Yup.  I braved that.  And I went through every nude-ish nail polish in the store.  Every single one.  (Mostly using their little coloring book plastic sheets, did try on about 6 different shades. ) I must have looked like a basket case as I tsked and shook my head sadly at the various peaches and taupes and pale pinks, all of which did a really good job at washing my hands out and making them look vaguely corpse-like.  And not in a delightful goth sort of way - just a what terrible thing have you dipped your hands in kind of way.  Lots of sickly looking beige on offer that didn't look like it would suit anyone.  Bleh.

I am a lady who takes terrible care of her hands and seldom wears polish, so I knew that if it wasn't precisely the right shade of pink it would sit on my shelf gathering dust for the rest of its life.  It's happened before.  But as part of Operation: Dress Just Slightly Nicer I thought I'd give it another try.

Well boys and girls, we succeeded Sunday.  Unfortunately not in the 3-4 dollar range that I was hoping for, but oh well.

Pagebreak to spare the make-up haters from having to look at pictures of pink nail polish. It's ok.  I understand.  But there will be a picture of a robot too, just sayin'....



Introducing Dior's Incognito.  Shockingly blah-looking putty pink in the bottle - looking vaguely like you'd mixed pepto-bismol in with some cement.  Can you tell yet that this is not a sponsored post?  But guys, it's grrrrrrreat on my olive skin. My mother, who has even more olive-y skin than I, tried it on as well, and it looks even better on her.  This is a pink nude for olive girls.  And guys. And all delicious in-between folks.  I would be curious how this looks on other skin tones but I've not found a lot of reviews of this polish online, perhaps because it was a shocking $24.  OPULENCE.

One coat - on me, barely even a pink blush, slightly warmer than a clear polish. Please enjoy my very un-photoshopped hands.  You can think of it as crafting-hands realness if you like.

Mid-way through applying second coat realized this polish is the exact shade of my Pink Robot of Love that I made with some friends at a paint-your-own pottery studio.
Second coat - to me this is a perfect nude.
Nothing says 'Incognito' like a Pink Robot of Love, which would have been a much better name for this polish.  

In conclusion, this polish is a SUPERSTAR. I spent a full day stuffing hundreds of envelopes (hurrah for conference mailings) wearing this polish on much longer than pictured nails, no top coat, and there was no chipping. None.  My hands wanted to murder me afterwords but my nails looked great.  I was impressed.  I'm giving this Dior Incognito polish top marks.  Hurrah for fancy luxury-things! 

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